You Look Happier
by hollyhobbit101
Summary: Severus could see them from where he stood a few boxes down. They looked happy


**A/N: For the Houses Competition**

 **House: Ravenclaw**

 **Category: Themed**

 **Prompt: Falmouth Falcons Stadium**

 **Word count: 2068**

* * *

He had taken her to Quidditch.

The Falmouth Falcons Stadium was not somewhere anyone would expect to find Severus Snape - indeed, it was hardly somewhere he himself would make a habit of visiting out of choice. But he'd heard whisperings within the Death Eater ranks that the Potter family would be the next to be targeted and, as much as he hated James, he would never allow Lily to be harmed. So, here he was.

Severus did the only thing he could think to do and decided to track Lily down - in secret, of course; he couldn't risk the Dark Lord discovering his treachery - just to make sure that she was alive and well. Which was how he had ended up at the Falmouth Falcons Stadium. Because James Potter had taken Lily Evans to Quidditch. Severus wasn't even paying attention to the game, only keeping a close eye on the couple where they stood a few boxes down.

They were clearly a happy couple, and Lily was practically glowing with excitement at whatever was happening on the pitch. Severus hadn't known she even liked Quidditch, and he wondered bitterly if Potter was only taking her along because he liked the game; therefore, he selfishly assumed she would like it, too. That sounded like him. Selfish Potter. But, no, Lily was obviously just as invested in the match as he was, possibly more. Unbidden, Severus felt a stab of jealousy towards James Potter, for knowing Lily better than Severus knew her. The fact that Potter knew may have been bearable if Severus had known about Lily's appreciation for the game too; but it remained that Lily hadn't liked Severus enough to tell him her preferences. Then he thought about how many more people knew Lily more intimately than he did, and the knife of jealousy twisted ever deeper. He was supposed to have been her best friend. But. This was juvenile, and he needed to focus on the task at hand.

* * *

Severus focused his gaze back on Lily's beautiful red hair, which blew lightly in the breeze as Quidditch players zipped past. She raised a hand to brush it out of her eyes, and Severus hungrily tracked her movements. He hadn't seen Lily in a long time, and she was much changed from the girl he knew at Hogwarts. That girl had been free to talk to and smile at him, and she had always chosen Severus over Potter and his idiot friends. Severus wished that these things had stayed the same, that she had seen Potter for who he really was, because then maybe _he_ would be the man stood next to Lily, the man who knew her every desire. Instead she had chosen that pompous, arrogant, stuck-up half-wit who had probably been feeding her lies about Severus and his family and everything else. Potter the liar. Potter the arrogant Quidditch player. Potter always had to be the golden boy, better than everyone and everything, a god among mere mortals. Severus scoffed at the thought, but felt the discomfort in his stomach grow. Lily had chosen Potter for a reason. Severus hadn't been worthy of her affections - he should have been better. More like Potter, perhaps.

* * *

Something happened out on the pitch, and the crowd began cheering, Lily and James included. The stadium lights reflected beautifully in Lily's eyes as she jumped up and down, and gripped her husband's sleeve tightly. Potter laughed and kissed Lily's cheek fondly, causing the monstrous jealousy inside Severus to flare up and growl. How could he be so easy with her, so perfectly relaxed, and how could she be the same with him? Some people in his box were frowning disapprovingly at him as he glared at the back of Potter's head, but Severus paid them no heed as the sight of them together continued to fuel his rage and envy.

 _He_ was supposed to be the one to make her smile like that. _He_ was supposed to be the one she could be relaxed and happy around. _He_ was supposed to be the one who took her out to places she loved and could share in her excitement. Not James Potter and his ridiculous Quidditch games.

* * *

Lily had written to him a few times since they had left Hogwarts. He kept the letters in a drawer in his flat - one of the few personal effects he actually had. There was an invite to her wedding, too, one that he had never accepted because he couldn't bear to see her so happy with _him._ He read the letters every now and then, traced the soft letters and the curls of her writing. Wished that he had more of her than just a few faceless words.

She'd sent a photo once, too, not long after the child was born. He was the one that the Dark Lord supposedly wanted dead, but Severus couldn't bring himself to care about the safety of a little boy when Lily's life was also at stake. The picture was of a smiling family, the kind that Severus had never had, nor will ever have. The boy was James all over; the same nose, the same jet black hair, the same smile, even. Only Lily's eyes stood out in Potter's face. It pained Severus to see such an intense reminder of all he had lost - and all Lily had gained - put together like that, so he had folded the photo in two and shoved it to the back of the drawer.

* * *

A loud cheer went up in the stands, yanking Severus abruptly out of his reverie. He stared uncomprehendingly at the pitch as one of the Seekers held an object in the air. The Snitch, Severus presumed. He didn't know which team had won, although, looking at the celebrating James and Lily, it was their team. _Their team._ Just like everything else in their lives, it was _theirs._ Severus briefly wondered if that was what married life was like - nothing was individual, everything was shared. Not _his_ or _hers._ Just _theirs._ He supposed he would never find out.

Just then, someone in the riotous crowd jostled Lily and she stumbled, unknowingly twisting her body towards Severus as she steadied herself. He saw Potter hold her arm protectively (and there was that pang of jealousy again, that thought that _he_ should be the one comforting her, not that idiot) and ask if she was okay, to which she nodded. She reached to brush hair out of her face and, as she did so, happened to glance up. Her hand froze where it was, and her eyes widened as they met with Severus's. For his part, Severus also stopped dead, wanting nothing more than to move from his terribly exposed position, but unable to by the strength of Lily's gaze.

Time seemed to slow down for Severus as years of childhood memories passed across the space between them. Then Potter - Severus's enemy Potter, Lily's husband Potter - said something to her, and the moment passed as if it had never happened. Lily turned back to him with a brilliant smile that she hadn't managed to muster for Severus, and Severus realised that this was his life - always second in Lily's affections, always the outsider, never privy to the innate happiness of family life. He turned on his heel and marched away, task completed. He'd only set out to make sure Lily was safe. And she was. She didn't need him around anymore, not when she had Potter to keep her happy and out of harm's way.

* * *

He thundered down the creaking metal staircase, (and damn these stadiums for being so ridiculously built) pushing past fans who were already drunk on Firewhiskey despite the regulations against any alcohol. Severus wrinkled his nose in disgust and swept away, holding his head high, and fully intending to Apparate back to his flat as soon as he was able. That is, until he heard his name being called all too familiarly, forcing him to stop dead in his tracks.

"Severus! Severus, wait, please!" Lily came jogging towards him, her red hair streaming behind her like a flaming halo. James followed at a slower, more unwilling pace, stopping a metre or so short of where Severus and Lily stood.

Lily smiled radiantly (although not like she had smiled for her husband; those were reserved just for him) and reached out to touch his arm gently.

"I didn't know you followed Quidditch!" she said brightly, for James's sake, but clearly waiting for a better explanation because she knew damn well that he despised the so-called sport.

"I was just here to… investigate a theory that Dumbledore has about the dark magic that has begun to rise," he replied stiffly, all too aware of the suspicious glances Potter was sending his way. He needn't worry; Lily was clearly devoted to him.

Lily's face twisted into a confused frown. "But surely that's for the Ministry to deal with," she questioned, her eyes searching his face, unable to read him like she used to be.

"I don't make a habit of questioning Dumbledore's orders," he spat out, far more bitterly than he intended. Lily took a step back, shocked at his outburst, then narrowed her eyes at him.

"What's really going on with you, Sev?" she asked, and this time it was Severus's turn to be taken aback; no one had called him 'Sev' in years. Not even Lily, in her letters.

"I… N-nothing, I just-" he stammered, but was saved by Potter sighing impatiently and striding over. How ironic, Severus thought. Saved by _Potter_ of all people.

"We have to go, Lil," he pressed, putting an arm protectively around her shoulders. Envy flared up again, because Severus had never - _never_ \- been allowed to call her anything but 'Lily', not even at Hogwarts. She claimed to have hated to sound of it, but it turned out she just hated it from Severus's lips.

Lily flicked her eyes between the two men, then turned more fully to face Severus, James's arm falling from her shoulders. Severus felt a stab of spite and pride, and barely managed to conceal a smirk as he watched Potter cross his arms and sigh in defeat.

"Sev…" Lily sighed, and the spite morphed back into an all-too familiar jealousy as he realised what she was about to say.

"Harry's at home - our son, Harry," she said, in response to the confusion on Severus's face. "We've got a neighbour looking after him, but we really don't want to leave him longer than necessary. I hope you understand?"

Severus opened his mouth, but James cut in, staring distrustfully at him. "Of course he does. Now, _come on Lil,_ we have to go."

Lily turned to say something to her husband but Severus stopped her. "I understand, _Potter,_ " he said, glaring at James. James glared right back. "You have to get back to your family.

Lily sighed and shook her head. She placed a hand on Severus's arm and squeezed it. "I hope you found what you were looking for," she said, giving him a small, wan smile. The sight almost made Severus feel guilty for being jealous over her, but he couldn't quite manage it. It was, after all, her choice that had made him feel this way.

Lily dropped her hand from his arm and turned back to James, allowing him to wrap his arm back around her shoulders as she leaned into him. Severus watched them walk away, Lily's final words ringing in his ears. Oh, he had found what he was looking for, and so much more that he hadn't wanted to find at all.

* * *

The darkness swallowed the happy couple up, and Severus was left alone on the path, a lone figure in the shadow of the stadium. They were going back to their child, and a warm, loving home, and a thousand more days in each other's company. And Severus? He was going to pretend that watching her walk away from him didn't send a bolt through his heart each time he thought of it. He was going to go back to his life of nothingness, and he was definitely not going to think about how he could be sharing it with Lily, but instead James Potter had been given that privilege. So. It was fine.

(The monster in his belly would tell you otherwise.)

* * *

 **A/N: I don't know how this turned out, but it took me a long time to get through, so I'm pretty proud that I managed to get to 2000 words. Please leave a review if you have a moment! Bye!**


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